Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
