that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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