even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
