Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
