she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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