i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
this boner is exhausting
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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