Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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