Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This is not my ceiling
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
