Do vagina's smell?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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