She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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