some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
