Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize