mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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