I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just pee around me
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You are the jesus of drinking
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
