brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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