3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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