I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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