Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
