I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
