chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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