shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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