I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
