i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
