Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
