I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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