he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
