his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
