Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
