Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
