Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
