Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Who died my cat blue again?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
