ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
