Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
