so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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