White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Randomize
