He disabled his match.com account in front of me
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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