3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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