this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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