i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
