don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Oh god it's open bar.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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