How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
