Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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