so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
