He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
