Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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