Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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