found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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