I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
