Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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