Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
