It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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