There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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