Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize