dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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