when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
