so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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