My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
