I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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