The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize