Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
