My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
