i don't like sucking hair
This girl is more easily done than said...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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