i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She's just so happy...and so naked.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
