How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
