Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
