Are we in a gay sports bar?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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