Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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