is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
