when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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