chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
