No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I believe in your delicious
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
