well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
