I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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